cooking, cleaning, telekinesis

I like to listen to old broadcasts of patrice o’neal on opie & anthony as i tidy up my dusty house. BUT, they employ heavy use of the entire curse word RAINBOW, and i don’t want Brandon’s first word to be ‘cunt’.
So i’ll listen to my wu-tang channel on pandora instead. Because i’d rather his first word be ‘bitches’.

With all this round-the-clock baby holding whilst doing a plethora of OTHER jazz, never have i wished harder for telekinetic powers. Or a freakish but capable third arm to increase my efficiency by a respectable 25 percent. Especially with THIS baby, he does NOT  want to be put down. like EVER.

so i hold him with one hand and fold laundry with the other while we watch another movie on netflix. today’s movie will be beverly hills cop because i feel it’s important for Brandon to know what eddie murphy WAS in comparison to what he BECAME.

then i hold him with one hand while i whip up a dope meal for two before my huuuusband gets home from work. i feel it’s important for him to behold the staggering amount of things i get done with one hand literally tied behind my back.
BEHOLD, SON.

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